Being the spiritual leader in the home is one the hardest things and most intimidating things I have ever had to do. I feel so inadequate in this that I am not very confident in writing about it. But, it is incredibly important.

When I got married 27 years ago I asked several men I respected to tell me exactly how to be the spiritual leader of my home.  It was frustrating because I wanted a clear A+B=C answer; do these things on these days in this way; but no one would give me what I wanted.  So I struggled along not knowing if what I was doing was “right.”  I would have good seasons and not so good seasons. Then to complicate things, we started having kids! Instantly, the stakes seemed higher and more overwhelming. 

I had this illusion that “those people” had it figured out and so I should try to be like them. But then I would start feeling guilty because I would drop the ball and feel like I was not good enough. Then I would get paralyzed in my feelings of inadequacy and guilt and I would just give up.

Maybe you can relate?

I had to learn that spiritual leadership is not about a formula but first about my heart.

So whether you are the dad in a family with both mom and dad, or you are a grandparent raising your children’s children, or a single parent, I want to encourage you to stay the course. You have what it takes!   

So where should you start?

There is an easy to overlook verse in Hebrews 11 that can help us get started.

“By  faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.” – Hebrews 11:23

Here is one of the things it teaches me about spiritual leadership in my home: I must be proactive in guarding my heart against worldly influences in the culture. 

Here is the backdrop. The Israelites had been in Egypt for several hundred years in what was once a culture that was accepting of God and  the people of God, but over time the culture changed and became hostile to the things  of God. The new Pharaoh was even treated like a god, and the people were commanded to do what he said, and worship who he said to worship. Disobedience to Pharaoh was considered disobedience to god himself. Even though many were called Israelites, their life practices began to look more and more like the culture around them. It was an effect that would linger for years. 

It was a scary time for people of faith. But life went on, and a man and woman who were committed to the things of God got married and had a son, Moses. Somehow, in the midst of a culture that was increasingly opposed to the things of God, Moses’ parents did not shrink back.  They were not dictated by fear. They stayed committed to the Lord.  Their hearts were guarded.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT FOR US?

Though we don’t live with a “Pharaoh” in our lives we do live in a culture that is becoming increasingly opposed to the things of God.  We see, hear and live in the struggle every day. It comes into our homes in so many ways! It comes from all directions shouting, “GOD IS NOT TRUE!  GOD IS NOT GOOD!  GOD IS NOT REAL!  THERE IS A BETTER WAY THAN GOD’S WAY!” The things of the world find a way in and dad and mom (Doug and Shelley) have to have a heart that is on guard. We need to have hearts that are feeding on the things of God.  Hearts  growing in a fear of the Lord. Growing in love for the One True God. Growing in a greater love for the things of God than the things of the world. 

Moses’ parents were not afraid.

We do not need to be afraid.

We need to lead with hearts of faith.

I need to put fierce energy into the guarding of my heart for the sake of my family. If I don’t, if we don’t, then very subtly the world will start to press us into its mold and as parents we could be setting our children up to struggle spiritually. 

If I don’t guard my heart then I may pass on materialism but I would rather pass on generosity.

If I don’t guard my heart, I may pass on dishonesty but I would rather pass on integrity. 

If I don’t guard my heart then I may pass on a shallow faith.  But I would rather pass on passion and life and joy and faith.

Take some time to ask God to examine your heart. Ask Him to help you guard your heart from influences in our culture. Ask Him to give you courage as the spiritual leader of your home.

“Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.“

Proverbs 4:23